write a book with me (it doesn't go super well) |…

A week long vlog of me *attempting* to write my sci-fi novel! Here’s to hoping things only get easier from here. It’s the effort that …

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I’m writing a book or at least I’m trying to I first came up with the idea for this book months ago and I started writing for that book and then I started slowly falling out of love with what I was writing and then one day I realized I just absolutely hated everything I had written for the book I hated the characters I was building I hated the setting I hated the genre I hated the direction I was taking it so I did something that did pain me at the time uh I scrapped it all I didn’t actually delete it I just put it in a different document the only thing I kept was was the essence of it the story I wanted to tell and the ending now for me when it comes to writing the first thing that I come up with for a story is How It Ends and then just figuring everything else out is it comes with time I’m actually still figuring it out I’m just winging it actually so needless to say uh coming up with the new characters naming the new characters doing research because it is science fiction and also writing the first chapter oh I hated that and I’ve only just kind of gotten to that point it’s very early on and I mean very I’m working on chapter 2 first five chapters are just that’s where I struggle so to kind of help push myself through the first five chapters and motivate me a little bit I have two things I’m doing the first one being a New Year’s resolution goal that I am starting now because I know if I wait till 2024 I’m not going to do it I’m just going to procrastinate it that goal is to at least once every single day sit down open my Dock and write something for my story the second one is me doing this what I’m going to be doing in this video is documenting my entire week of writing in a perfect world by the end of this video I would have written at least 10,000 words for my story we’ll see if that happens if not 10,000 at least eight five would be great even I am currently writing trying to write I am in bed though and I usually like to write at my desk because it keeps me a little more productive but I usually crawl in bed to write when I am in the mood of I really don’t want to but I need to a little update on today’s word count so far we are at 61 words very nice I’ve recently been leaning in into that hole your first draft should be a dumpster fire and oh my God it’s a dumpster fire I read through what I have so far and everything is tied together by the thinnest thread but it’s okay because at least I’m getting words in a document for once unlike what I was doing for the last two months which was not [ __ ] today’s writing day took a turn I originally planned to spend most of my day at this Bookshop beastro that recently opened about 40 minutes away from my house I did go there I woke up in the morning I got ready I left and then I got there I got a little chai latte and then uh I couldn’t find a seat I looked around for a little bit but obviously I ended up leaving because you know I didn’t have a spot to sit so then I ended up driving 40 minutes back and I went to aorn’s & Noble near me and I spent about like an hour or two there I did manage to rate a little bit I think my total word count by the time I left was like 392 words I believe it’s not a great word count it’s a lot less than I anticipated to do when I left the house but that was just the first writing session I plan to sit here and rate again tonight and considering the fact I only got 91 words last night I’ll take 392 that second writing session I was talking about just took place right now and what it entailed was uh me opening the dock on my phone and just typing a few sentences I think I maybe got another paragraph and a half I don’t think I’m going to end up writing anymore tonight but if I do I’ll update you tomorrow but as of right now today’s word count is ending at 559 I just need you all to see the sweater armwar it says silly goose and that’s what I feel like right now and not in a good way it’s 11:23 p.m. I have just over half an hour to write something in my doc so that I can say I wrote something one day every day once every day one time every day I don’t know if I should be writing right now I also just read one of the most devastating things of my entire life and I that’s not the tone that my book is supposed to be in yet I don’t know how sad I want to be I I want to be kind of impactful but I don’t know if I want any of it to be as sad as I feel right now God freaking words on a page who gave them the right to have this much power over my emotions all right well I am at 510 words I think at the beginning of this video I said in a perfect world I would get 10,000 words within this one week I don’t think that’s going to happen 500 seems to be my limit right now and I have I have a theory about about that but let me just close this out 510 words you know it could be worse it could be better but it could be much worse at least I wrote something today and I believe before the day ended so technically I have still written every single day I had an outline for this story but by the time I finish writing chapter 1 or technically chapter 2 I’m just going to call it chapter 2 that outline down the toilet I can’t remember if I mentioned before but there is something that just organically came out as I was writing and that piece just ended up changing changing a rather big part of the story and so that alone derailed my entire outline my outline just needs to be redone so my plan right now is to write the first five chapters or so kind of set up this new setting that I wasn’t actually anticipating on and then revisiting my outline and redoing it which means right now when I write I’m winging it if someone were to read my doc right now it would make absolutely no [ __ ] sense it it barely makes sense to me right now I’m going to be honest I think in order to reach that 10,000 word goal like I had wanted to when I started this I would have need to have written 1,500 words a night haven’t done that my new goal is that by Friday which would Mark a week of me making this video I will have written the first five chapters that seems attainable it don’t need to be good five chapters but uh they need to be somewhere in there so that then I can start working on the outline and actually have some sense of what the hell I’m doing cuz I don’t right now I have those days where I don’t necessarily feel like writing but I still have have thoughts and I’m still excited to work on a scene and then I have those days where I just don’t feel like opening this do and today is the lad it’s a Monday you know I had to work my little 9 to 5 as much as I’d love for my job to just be reading and writing books it’s not so you know today’s Monday Monday it didn’t have the best day it could have been worse but it wasn’t great and I just opened my Dock and remember that last night the stuff that I wrote does not correlate with the previous stuff I had written down no direction I don’t even remember what I was trying to do with this first scene what I think I’m going to do for the next half hour is just read over what I have in here maybe move some things around try to remember the thought process I had when I was first writing this scene if not I might I can’t I have to no I might just not write tonight I don’t know I’m trying my best but I’m human okay we’ll see how this goes maybe I’ll close this out go read something and then I’ll be interested in writing who knows I read through what I last wrote and it’s not bad and I do understand what I was trying to get at and where I was trying to take that scene so I wrote a few extra sentences about 1803 words not a lot nothing to write home about it does help progress the scene a little bit more and then I took a few notes just to kind of remind future me whenever I open this again of how I was trying to wrap it up and then also of what I was trying to lead up to for the following scene I’m still not in the mood to write so I think I am just going to close this out for right now I might reopen it later don’t know what I’m going to go do though is read today was not a good writing day because it wasn’t a writing day at all I opened my dog I wrote 34 words and then I closed my dog and that’s all I have for you today I have written 1,194 words so far today and it sounds good but it’s not and I’m going to tell you why about 700ish of those words weren’t for the story that I have been writing for this entire week I mean some of those words are for you know my my book but some of them aren’t I’m a little torn on this because obviously I would love if all 1100 plus of those words were all for my novel and then on the other hand I’m just excited that I was able to write that much in general I feel like I’m in a little bit of a writing slump which is just [ __ ] fantastic the one week that I decid hey I’m going to do a writing Vlog is when I’m like I don’t I don’t think I can write right now that’s why I have these other things that I write for though because most most of the time it’s not a matter of I can’t write I am stuck in my writing process it’s I’m stuck in the story the other things that I write for provide me with a bit of a relief a little bit of a break from writing from it and helps me just get back into the flow of writing and that’s what I’m hoping this is doing fingers crossed that there is a really nice payoff for my actual novel tomorrow when I sit down to write you know I said my new goal was to have five chapters written for my book by the end of this week and I thought that was going to be attainable I don’t know about that either anymore but you know this is just reality I could lie but I’m not going to today has been a better day with writing and I’m very excited about it I have written 863 new words for my novel and it feels so damn good I was a little frustrated the last few days with all the random bits and pieces that just weren’t making sense that I was writing what I did today was I took those pieces and I put them in a different Dock and I just started over and at certain points I went oh yeah I think I started writing something about this so I went to that separate Dock and I just pull little bits and pieces weworked them a lot so that they’d make some sense so that they were coherent sentences and now I have 863 words that make sense and that are chronological cuz I was not writing chronologically I have three whole chapters written for my story there’s obviously some pieces that are highlighted and have a note that goes finish this another time set up this scene add more here things like that but that is a problem for a later time not right now I know I said I wanted to get at least the first five chapters written before the end of this week might still happen I might still write some more tonight but I’m pretty content with the three chapters I have cuz it’s more than I thought I was going to get at one point so this is nice all right well it’s been a week now of me writing and recording it things did not go as I had hoped they would I was hoping to get 10 10,000 words did not get 10,000 words but you know what we have three chapters written and that is better than zero I’m just trying to be positive cuz I’m a little sad inside though I didn’t reach the 10,000 8,000 or even 5,000 word count or five chapter goal that I had anticipated I do have a little bit of a foundation for my story now and you know what that’s that’s brilliant cuz imagine if I had 10,000 words and none of it actually made any sense that would actually that would be terrible I’m really trying to make myself feel feel better here right now it’s hard not to be hard on myself and disappointed in myself but you know what it’s fine I do think filming this video in a way though kept me from not writing something every single day even if there’s a day where I only wrote 60s something words it was still better than zero but all right I’ve been doing this for a week now so I’m done this is the end of the video I hope you enjoyed it if you watch this far I don’t know what else to say uh bye

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