Portal 2 Voice Over (Part 1)

Chell wakes up and explores the abandoned facility of Aperture Science. And gets dropped into the incinerator that leads …

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[Music] Good morning. You have been in suspension for 50 days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. Okay. Oh my neck. You hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. Okay. Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise. Okay. There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it. Okay. Yeah. This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. Okay. There’s nothing else to do. You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. Okay. I really need that. But good. Now, please return to your bed. Oh, good. Good morning. You have been in suspension for 99. What happened? Hello. Anyone in there? Subject should vacate the enrichment. Hello. Oh god, you look um good. Looking good, actually. Are you okay? How are you? Don’t answer that. I’m absolutely sure you’re fine. There’s plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it. Please prepare for emergency evacuation. Stay calm. Stay calm. Prepare. It’s all saying prepare. It’s all fine. All right. Don’t move. I’m going to get us out of here. Oh, you might want to hang on to something. Word of advice. Up to you. Okay. Whoa, that chair. You right down there? Can you hear me? Hello. I can hear a motor. Oh. Oh. Hey there again. Most test subjects do experience some uh cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you’ve been under for quite a lot longer, and it’s not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage. But don’t be alarmed. All right? Uh although if you do if you do feel alarmed, try to hold on to that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you’ve got brain damage. Do you understand what I’m saying at all? Does any of this make any sense? Just tell me. Just say yes. Okay. Okay. What you’re doing there is jumping. Uh you just you just jumped. But never mind. Say apple. Apple. Okay. Okay. You know what? That’s close. Brain damage. All reactor safeguards are now nonfunctional. Reactor core meltdown. cuz of Okay, look. I wasn’t going to brain damage, but I’m in pretty hot water here. How you doing down there? You’re still holding on. The reserve power. So, of course, the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects. Okay, hold on. This is a bit tricky. And of course, nobody tells me anything. No, why don’t you tell me anything? Let’s shake. Oh, why should I be kept informed? You know about the life functions of the me subjects I’m supposed to be in charge of. Why? It’s close. Can you see? Am I going to make it through? I got enough space. Uh just just got to get through here. Oh, okay. I just got to concentrate. And whose fault do you think it’s going to be when the management comes down here and finds 10,000 flipping vegetables? Uh I think they’ll be pretty mad. And I think it’s your fault. Um, okay. Listen, we should get our story straight. All right. If anyone asks subject, no one’s going to ask, don’t worry. But if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. All right. Not dead. Okay. Okay. Wait. Almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There’s a piece of equipment in there that we’re going to need to get out of here. I I think this is a docking station. Get ready. Wait, what? Oh, no. Don’t slam into it. That is not a docking station. The cave room. I’m going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Getting a bit technical. Hold on. Oh no. Almost there. Remember, we’re looking for a gun that makes holes, not bullet holes. But don’t worry, you’ll figure it out. Seriously, do hold on this time. Oh no. Oh. Ah. There we go. Now, I’ll be honest. You are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet, but um at least you’re a good jumper. So, you got that got the jumping on your side. Just do your best and I’ll meet you up ahead. Okay. I guess I’ll jump to this. Okay. Hello. And again, welcome to the African science. We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control. However, thanks to emergency testing protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support so that science can still be done even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse. The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in 3 2 1. Wait. Oh, a portal. Uh, I think that’s the whole premise of this place. But cube and buttonbased testing remains an important tool for science even. If cube and button-based testing caused this emergency, don’t worry. The odds of this happening twice are what the Okay, this is someone that gives a electrical signal. But man, the hardware particle field across the hardware. This Aperture Science material emancipation grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through. Okay. If you feel running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the material emancipation grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head. Okay. Whoa. This place is familiar, but I remember this place being a little bit different than this. Oh. Okay. [Music] Well, again, [Music] got room. Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised. Wow. Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test, an Aperture Science Associate will revive you for an interview. Society has been rebuilt. If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to a Hey, you made it. Oh, hey. There should be a portal device on that podium over there. Oh, I can’t see it though. Maybe it fell off. Yeah. You want to go have a quick look? Sure. Oh. Oh. Oh. How did I survive that fall? Can you see? It must have been these boots. Are you alive? Yeah, it should have been. Should have asked that first. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to wait. Is that still alive? And I’m just going to wait for the portal gun. I’ll wait. I’ll wait 1 hour, then I’ll come back. Wait, is that me? Assuming I can locate your dead body, I’ll bury you. All right, brilliant. Wow. See you in an hour. These drawings on the walls are a little bit creepy. Wait, who’s that robot or something? Okay. Oh, well, I can shoot portals. Okay. Just got to get through. Wait, this flock’s frozen in time. Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the laws of robotics to share. Wait, lethal military androids? I guess I got to get there. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights as detailed in the laws of robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. So much science entitlement associate will initiate the appropriate grievance filing paperwork. Okay. Okay. This is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in 3 2 1. Why would I need smooth jazz? [Music] Okay, there’s many conversation rooms if I’m saying that correctly. What’s up there? It’s probably going to be really boring. Oh, okay. Um, do that to get through this quicker again. Got to solve this. Okay, I’m going to put this down there and get all the buttons activated. Huh? H what’s down there? And probably really boring, too. Great work. Because this message is pre-recorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments. Okay. Oh. Oh, dang. That destroyed my portal. But whatever. Don’t need it anymore. But wait, what is this blocking off? Or what’s up here? Uh, what? A water jug. Um, another water jug. Uh, some food cans. a a keyboard and a computer. They’re nonfunctional though. Okay, I’m getting out of here. Okay. Thank you. If the enrichment center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space debris does not appear to be a deliberate part of the test. Okay. Uh whoa, the ceiling is leading to the surface. Um uh maybe I could do this because this button links up to a cube dropper. Oh, sweet. Okay. Yes, I could put it on here. And uh I don’t want to fall in there. Oh damn. Whoa. That was a little bit crazy, but um whatever. Well, I just want to get out of here. Center remind you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. which science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts. Okay. Okay. Okay. Time to get through this. This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. The laws of physics no longer apply in the future. God help you. Well, let’s do there. Uh-uh. Probably nothing. Okay. I probably want to do this. Okay. Oh my god. Adrenaline inducing. That did feel a little bit good, but it’s time to do it again. Oh. So adrenaline inducing. If you are a non-emp employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome. Remember, testing is the future and the future starts with you. Okay, that this time the portal is down here. Okay, got to get up here. [Music] Whoa. Hey, Jen. [Music] [Laughter] Oh, good work getting this far, future starter. That’s if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better qualified for testing. Okay. To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The enrichment center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy. Hey, I I I’m up here. All testing equipment. We did find a portal gun. Oh, the Do you know what? It just goes to show damage are the real heroes. I think I remember this. Great. Pop a portal on that wall behind me there and I’ll meet you on the other side of the room. Uh, I guess I wasn’t listening, but I can’t. Okay, listen. Let me lay something on you here. It’s pretty heavy. They told me never never ever to disengage myself from my management rail. Wow. Or I die. What? But of options here. So, get ready to catch me. All right. On the off chance that I’m not dead the moment I pop off this thing. On three. Ready? One, two, three. That’s high. It’s It’s too high. Are you too scared? All right, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let’s uh go on one this time. Okay, ready? One. Catch me. Catch me. Catch me. Oh god. Sorry I didn’t catch you. But you’re not dead. I’m not dead. I’m not dead. Plug me into that stick on the wall over there again and I’ll show you something. You’ll be impressed by this. Whoa. I can’t. Um. Wow. Yeah. I can’t do it if you’re watching. Again, seriously, I’m not I’m not joking. Can you just turn around for a second? A jab. All right, you can turn around now. Bam. Secret panel. While your back was turned and off we go. Look at this. No rail to tell us where to go. Oh, this is brilliant. We can go wherever we want. Just hold on though. Where are we going? Seriously, hang on. Let me just get my bearings. Um, just follow the rail, actually. Oh, no. Oh, hey. Yes. Hello. No, we’re not stopping. Make contact. What are you doing? No thanks. We’re good. Appreciate it. Keep moving. Keep moving. Hello. [Music] Hello. Okay, never mind. Wait, did I just hear I’m definitely Whatever. Oh Probably want to bring you up to speed on something right now. In order to escape, we’re going to have to go through her chamber. She will probably if if she’s um awake. Okay, I’m going to lay the cards on the table. I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to go in there. Don’t Don’t go in there. She’s off. She’s off. Don’t go. There she is. What a nasty piece of work she was. Honestly, like a proper maniac. Do you know who ended up? Do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You’re not going to believe this. A human. A human? I know. I wouldn’t have believed either. Apparently, this human escaped and nobody’s seen him since. There was a sort of long chunk of time where um absolutely nothing happened and then there’s us escaping now. So um that’s pretty much the whole story. You’re up to speed. Don’t touch me. Okay. Okay. Down these stairs. Okay. Jump this actually. Look at it. That is quite I’m jumping anyways. Oh, still held. Still being held. You That’s a great job. You’ve applied the grip. We’re all fine. That’s tremendous. Okay. Ah, I just Sorry. I just looked down. I do not recommend it. Do you? Ah, I just don’t again. Okay, maybe I should look down. Um, this is the main breaker room. Look for a switch. It says escape pod. Don’t touch anything else. If there’s anything else, don’t touch anything else. Don’t Don’t even look at anything else. Obviously got to look for anything else to to find escape pod. But soon as you look at something, it doesn’t say escape pod. Look at something else. Look at the next thing. All right. Don’t touch anything else or look at anything. We’ll look at other things, but don’t you understand? Can you see it anywhere? I can’t see it anywhere. Uh, tell you what, plug me in and I’ll turn the lights on. Okay. Let there be light. That’s uh God was quoting God. Yeah. Oh, look at that. Turning ominous, but probably fine. Long as it doesn’t start, you know, moving up. No. Escape. Escape pond. It’s It’s moving up. Okay. Okay. No, don’t don’t worry. Don’t worry. I’ve got it. I’ve got it. I’ve got it. This should slow it down. Uh, no. It’s going faster. Uh, power up initiated. Wait, power up initiated. I can still stop this. Um, oh, there’s a there’s a password. Okay, it’s fine. I’ll just I’ll just hack it. Not a problem. [Music] A a hack it. Hack it. Um, a A. Wait, did I do B? Psych. Wait, I don’t have a pen and paper. Okay. Oh, hello. It’s you. Do you know her? It’s been a long time. How have you been? I’ve been really busy being dead. I murdered you after you murdered me. You did what? Oh, no. I think I did, but Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no, no. Okay, look. We both said a lot of things that you’re going to regret. What? No, not him. Differences behind us. Oh, no. For science, you monster. I will say though that since you went to all the trouble of waking up. You must really, really love to taste. I too. There’s just one small thing we need to take care of first. No. No.

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